Afraid so. Still here - Sat. Oct. 26, 2024
It's Michael.
Laurel had a pretty pain-free day yesterday. The trade-off is the extreme drowsiness that accompanies the relief. We discussed this trade-off early on and as much as she wants to be present, she wants pain relief more. And that's what she will have.
I wish she was 'here' to share more details with you. She's too groggy to even approve this message.
I don't want to post without her okay so this short note will have to suffice for the foreseeable future, unless she has more lucid moments.
I guess I neglected to check in while my sister was visiting, but we had a really great time the week she was here in UT with us. My friend Colleen's best friend from college (over 50 years!) passed away a week ago, a few years older than us. Turbo cancer of the intestines for the last two years. Beth's sisters are both palliative care nurses and took great care of her. Colleen and her husband will be traveling to Napa to do the memorial service before Thanksgiving. And I just heard that my prayer partner's cousin's daughter is also in transition to immortality in Texas from colon cancer. She has three young children. Truly heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteWith Laurel being Laurel, I'm not sure she wouldn't enjoy knowing that there are others on the path just ahead of her to be fully lucid and empty of pain just on the other side. I know you and she will know when that blessing of release will be given and needed. It's really only a temporary release, we know, when our full confidence is in Jesus who said from His death on the cross "it is finished" which culturally translates to God's bill of debt we owe Him has been "paid in full" with Jesus' perfect life given for us. I rejoice that His mercies are new every morning and that we are free from needing to earn His love or even attempting to pay Him back for His. His gifts and mercies are new every morning as it says in Lamentations. That is probably a good book for those of us who remain to spend time reading. Grief is so real, so empty and so full, so coming and so going. You are living it already. Jesus knew it well Himself. I'm so sorry you are going thru all of this for whatever reasons He has. I just heard today that we can look at things like what is happening to us, or what is happening to get us to where God wants us to be. Our focus will always be on what good He has planned amidst the pain and tears. Lean fully on Him. A great hymn chorus goes "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will go strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace." You and Laurel have been living in the light of His glory and grace for many months now, even more-so now as physical time grows shorter together. May He supply all your needs, physical, emotional and spiritual and carry you through these remaining days. Our love to you and your family in these days. Praying you have a few more special lucid moments together to connect in love and appreciation of all you've meant to one another in this life.