Last Evening Was Like Old Times, Liver Numbers Are Higher (Oy), Recliner Hack

Yellow curry with tofu. SO much better than it looks.

 

Yesterday I made a confession to my husband. There's a very small part of me that doesn't want to survive this. Why? If I get well, and then later this comes back, or I have to go through something like it again, I don't want to start over from the beginning and experience the whole thing again. I'm partway through now, so the small part of me wants to just finish it and get it over with. We cried together. The rest of me, however, knows that everything will work out just the way it should and, no matter what, ultimately, everyone will have a happy ending. You, me, and everyone else in the world will eventually be so very happy. No pain or sorrow, only joy. It's all going to be okay. Michael knows this, too.

 

You know how people talk about being stuck in a rut? We loved our rut, our routine. Working and getting things done during the day, then in the evening having dinner while watching something. That was bliss for us. So, as the above conversation was winding down I said, "I have an idea." We both love it when the other person says that. I proclaimed I wanted to have yellow curry with tofu for dinner and rent "The Fall Guy." Michael was shocked that I would suggest restaurant food. Yellow curry with tofu was one of my favorite things in my Before Times diet. It falls under plant-based whole foods, after all. I hoped my back would cooperate so I could fully enjoy reliving our "rut" days for a couple of hours. When he went to pick up the food, the owner was delighted to see him and said she hadn't seen us in a long time. He told her what was going on with me. She was so sorry to hear the news. She said, "But she looked so healthy last time you were here." He told her I still look healthy, but I just can't come to the restaurant because I can't be upright for very long. Then, in yet another act of kindness by those around us, she didn't charge us for the dinner. What a sweetheart.

 

Upon Michael's return, we were opening our food and I commented that I hoped my taste buds still liked this, they may have changed with my limited diet over the past 4-5 months. Turns out it was still heaven. Sooo, good. And the movie was a lot of fun. We like Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt. My back mostly cooperated. I felt so happy after the dinner and movie. My outlook was so improved. I was reminded that one of you said Healing is in the Happiness. Maybe you are right. I also had a great night's sleep (unlike the night before). 

 

This morning I was still feeling happy. My ribs were bothering me but my outlook was still positive and bright. I went to my first in-person reiki appointment. The drive there didn't bother me--yay. I really like the gal, Chanda. She's about our age, an Indian woman, a sweetheart. She let Michael stay in the room. She put on some quiet, Asian-sounding spa-like music. As I laid on the table, she started with making scooping motions from just above my body, going up in the air. Over and over, walking all the way around me. Then she very softly put her hands on different places on my body. Shoulders, head, sides of my face, forehead and eyes, shoulders, hips, knees and feet. Then I turned on my side and she did the same in different places on my back. When she put her hands on the sides of my face I almost got emotional. I realized that that is a caring place to put your hands on someone. The whole thing felt very caring to me. A few times I found my mind wandering, but brought myself back around. In case it was helpful, I tried to stay present. Hopefully the reiki will open up any blocked energy pathways to allow healing. Chanda was first introduced to it after injuring her knee pretty badly. Her sis-in-law offered to do some reiki on her. The next morning her knee pain was gone. She decided to become trained in reiki to help others. I will see her at least four times. I look forward to my next appointment a week from Saturday.

 

Michael commented on how well I seem today. Yay! We commented again on how much we enjoyed our evening last night.

 

In the afternoon I was on the phone with my daughter. While talking I noticed my liver numbers came in after yesterday's blood draw. 10 days ago I cut my Fenbendazole intake down to 1/8 of the dose. Surely by doing that my AST and ALT numbers would go down or at least stay the same. No. They both went up. I started crying for the four thousandth time. I told Breanne I needed to go and why. She offered to stay on with me if I wanted. We hung up. Michael came in and we were emotional together. We seem to spend more and more time doing that. We couldn't decide whether we wanted to yell or break something or collapse into fetal positions and sob. We decided to hold each other instead. We both love that, but my back and neck aren't good at it for long so it didn't last which is frustrating. I didn't know what my next steps should be. We decided to stop Fenben and all supplements except those that are specifically for liver health in case processing all those supplements is making too much work for Mr. Liver. I'll re-test in a week or two. Michael offered a prayer asking for guidance and inspiration on our next steps. Being beyond feeling I decided it was time to take my shower. I expected to do a little crying in there, but it was more like just staring without feeling. We got on with our evening, distracting ourselves with a few more episodes of Castle. Only three episodes left in the series. Dang. Any suggestions for our next binge?

In other news, the recliner is not working out as I'd hoped, thanks to my uncooperative ribs which are bothering me more. Breanne really wanted to somehow make it work. I thought if I had something behind my spine, causing less chair pressure on my ribs it might help. She got the padding, I decided on the specs, and hubby measured and cut. I can stay in the chair a little longer with this. Three of my sisters are coming next week and I want to last as long as I can in the chair without us having to squeeze into my bedroom to visit.

 

Dark chocolate covered almonds, made with Stevia. I have one after each meal.

 

Michael measuring and cutting the memory foam for the recliner hack.

 

I can last several minutes longer with this pad behind me.