Good Sleep Last Night

 

Not a difficult read.

My under arm and breast lumpy bumps are about the size of ping-pong balls, and the skin on them and between them is very purply. This is what I’m going to see the surgeon about on August 1. To see if I should have surgery done to remove those, or if they're past the point of no return, or if it would be more recovery trauma than it’s worth depending on the method they would need to choose, etc. In the meantime, I’m trying to think of how to keep that skin at its healthiest to avoid skin breakage as long as possible. My daughter and I were looking things up online. She had heard that coconut oil is good for things like reducing stretch marks on skin, so we thought that might be one option. I don’t have stretch marks there, but it indicated it could be helpful for skin health. Another option is to put the CBD cream on the skin. It’s the same cream I’ve been having Michael put on painful hotspots on my back. The CBD cream has the added benefit of reducing pain. They both smell nice, but the coconut oil makes me smell so very delicious, reminding me of how I used to make chocolate chip cookies, replacing some of the fat with coconut oil. Anyway, I just do one or the other, coconut oil or CBD cream, sort of alternating. Who knows if it will do anything for skin health, but we’re trying it.

My sleep for the past several nights has not been great since starting a daily steroid to reduce pain from inflammation. But last night was a little miracle. For the first time, I tried a CBN* product as a sleep aid. They are little berry-flavored tablets that come in a tin. You suck on them a couple hours before you want the effects to kick in. Not knowing what my experience would be like, I started with a half of a tablet, cutting it with a pill cutter. I sucked on it close to bed time so the effects would hopefully kick in later when I might normally wake up during the night. To help ensure a good night, I put the CBD cream on my lumps which can sometimes be painful at random times whenever they feel like it, and I tried to go to sleep before it was time for the next dose of pain reliever.

I think I fell asleep a little after midnight, and was pleased and astonished to wake up at 6:00am this morning, instead of at 1:00 or 2:00am then being awake for hours. I was thrilled! I had my alarm set for 7:00am to take my first pills of the day, and was actually able to go back to sleep for another little bit before that alarm went off.

It’s early afternoon and it’s been a pretty decent day so far. Right shoulder blade has been talking to me, so I may have Michael hit that with some CBD cream. Yesterday was also pretty decent—both have been very doable. That is something to be grateful for.

This morning, I made a trip to the bathroom and while I was up, decided to get a few extra steps in taking my walker into our family room. When I turned around to come back, I could see Michael was just outside of our back door with his bike, returning from a ride with a friend. Breanne was good enough to come over early and babysit me so he could get out on a ride with his pal. Being with this friend and on a bike are two of Michael’s favorite things. I’m so glad he can do this once in a while and that our children make it possible for him to do so.

Although last night was good, the night before was bad, with plenty of dark hours for tears and bleak thoughts. Michael is sensitive to when I am awake during the night and wants to be awake for me whether I actually need help doing something or not. Sometimes just moral support is the best thing. He has spent plenty of time during the night just standing by me at the bedside with his hands-on me to comfort me. He tries not to do this while lying down in bed because he doesn't want to fall asleep. It's at times like these that I turn on the TV to distract myself and stay a little more grounded to reality until daylight when things usually look better. I emailed my doctor yesterday morning checking on my next possible pain management step. He called this afternoon and starting tomorrow I will add a third half-dose of the bone pain med, the one that makes me sleepy.

Back to my good night. Was it just a fluke? Possibly a placebo effect? Will it be repeatable? As my dad used to say, "We shall see what we shall see." I will take all the same precautions tonight and appreciate good sleep that comes my way.

*CBN: "Cannabinol contains sedative properties that can put your mind at ease and increase the quality of your sleep." -ftasf(dot)com