WHAT THE HECK?! Liver Numbers Suddenly Almost to Normal

WHAT THE HECK?!!

 

As you know, my liver numbers (AST and ALT) have been way off the charts high (bad). I cut my Fenbendazole to 1/8 of what I was taking and had my blood drawn again two weeks ago. I thought my numbers would have been at least a little lower, or maybe stayed the same. They still went up significantly as mentioned in my June 20 post. There were many tears of fear and frustration upon getting those results. The next thing we did was stop Fenben altogether, stop all supplements except those that are specifically for liver health in case processing all those supplements is making too much work for Mr. Liver, and restart the castor oil liver packs for 20 minutes daily. I went back yesterday for another blood draw. We both expected further disappointment. We could NOT believe our eyes this morning as we looked at the results. My numbers somehow plummeted much closer to the normal range (the green area is the normal range). Couldn't believe it. Could not believe it. We laughed and cried.

 

Then my insightful husband brought up the complex thoughts I might be having and, as usual, he was right. I had finally come to be at peace with this being my time, even to the point of wanting to get it overwith, tired of this slow-mo jazz. I might even be a little disappointed at it not being my time after all the anguish of getting to where I am. I confessed again that I'm maybe a little afraid of being healed and going on living because I don't want to have to going through the dying process all over again. We went for a short walk before it hit 1,000 degrees outside. He helped pull my faith back into check, believing that if I am healed, the next time around may be quick. Maybe we'll go together after all. We don't know what the future will bring but that we both know what is supposed to happen will happen and everything will be alright.

 

A friend was impressed to bring a book by a few weeks ago. I only read the introduction, and that was all I needed. An older man was dying of cancer and given two weeks to live. Somehow he survived and went on serving, teaching, living. He wasn't afraid to live. It helped me to not feel afraid if I am to live.

 

So, the bottom line is, we don't know what the numbers mean in the long run. We don't know if it's a turning point in the direction of my mortality. We don't know if it means I'm going to be healed. But a bright spot is a bright spot and we'll take it.