My Sister Patty's Visit
I'll add more photos later when I'm up to it.
As mentioned, my final sister, Patty, came last week to visit from Tuesday to Thursday. She and her husband had just returned from their mission to New Zealand the week before. Of course, I have loved visiting with each of my sisters over the past few months, but I knew this visit would be extra special and impactful for me. I knew we would have deep conversations because that is her personality and because her dear husband died of leukemia five years ago. So, she's had experience in this arena. I also wanted to have these conversations as I revere her wisdom, experience, and deep grasp of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Our daughter picked her up from the San Francisco Airport. Patty walked into my bedroom, she came over and we embraced. We Redd sisters love to hug each other. We have a tall bed. When I’m standing on the floor, it comes up to about my bellybutton. Why is it so high? For space efficiency. This way we can keep a low dresser under one side of the bed and lateral file drawers under the other side of the bed. I’ve been easily jumping up onto the bed every night these last 32 years, but now I use a stool to get up and down. We showed Patty how to get up on the other side of the bed. The trick is to step on the windowsill to get yourself up, it was no problem. She climbed up next to me and spent most of the next 48 hours there, except for sleeping on the couch at night and going out to lunch one day with my children and the other day with a niece. She wanted me to be as comfy as I could be and knew that we might not be able to spend every minute together if I wasn’t up to it. Miraculously, I was.
Almost immediately she asked me how I felt about my life. I was glad we were getting right into the deep end of our conversations. I told her I had made some mistakes in the past which I had corrected, but didn't feel like I needed to go and mend any relationships. We talked about what a great blessing that is and how it’s not always that way.
She asked if I had read my patriarchal blessing recently. I said no, not that recently. She offered to read it out loud to me. She did so, and it was very sweet. Michael was in the room, and I think Breanne was in there most of the time, too. A patriarchal blessing is something you can receive once in your lifetime as a member of our church. It is like your very own scriptures written just for you. The purpose of a patriarchal blessing is to declare to you which lineage in the 12 Tribes of Israel you are from or adopted into when you are baptized a member of the church. I don’t really understand a lot about that except that each tribe has its own responsibilities and promises. But what I think most of us like about a patriarchal blessing is what it tells us about ourselves. It gives us guidance and direction for our own specific life, it gives us warnings and admonitions to keep us safe, and promises great blessings if we live worthily. Reading your blessing at different points in your life gives you different perspectives, depending on what you’re currently going through. This is why it’s good to read it often. Reading your blessing makes you sometimes ponder about what you were like in the Spirit World before we came to earth to receive a mortal body. I think we’d all like to know more, but it’s good that we don’t because if we remembered too much, then we wouldn’t be living by faith here on the Earth. We wouldn’t have as much room to learn and grow. I don’t always love learning and growing, believe me.
More about patriarchal blessings here
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/patriarchal-blessings?lang=eng
We talked about the uncertainty of what I may have to experience over the next few weeks or months. She brought some comfort as she explained that when our organs are shutting down our mind separates itself somewhat from what’s going on. Some of the things we talked about brought comfort to this topic, some didn’t, and that’s where it all always comes back around to trusting in Heavenly Father‘s plan for me. I find it interesting that I seem to be fixated on the actual process of dying rather than other other things I could be worrying about. When I consider what other worries might be, like wanting to fix a relationship, wanting to correct my standing with God, or wonder if I’ve taught my children enough about the gospel of Jesus Christ, or whether I’ve shown enough love to those around me, these are not my worries. I see this as a good thing. Anyone who knows me knows I am not perfect, I'm just a regular old goober, but as long as we keep trying to live the way we feel is right, we are all good enough. Don’t be so hard on yourselves, my friends. We’re all just doing the best we can with what we have.
Other things Patty and I did together:
- She read a childhood book aloud to me called "The Pink Motel." It’s actually a book from the growing up years of my older sisters. (she’s #3, I’m #6) but I loved hearing her read a delightful book out loud. We didn’t have time to finish it so she offered to let me hold onto it, which I did, and we will return it to her at our reunion in September.
- We watched a movie she recommended called "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" which I really enjoyed.
- We watched an episode of The Rookie which takes place in Los Angeles where we were raised. She told me that as she grew up and moved away, she wondered to herself, oh wait, doesn't everyone watch TV shows about the place they grew up in? Haha!
- My daughter saw a neat idea online about making hug shirts. That's when someone you love puts on a plain T-shirt, you roll paint on your arms and hands and then hug them while they're wearing their shirt to make a hug print on it. Breanne's plan is for us to make them for each other, but while Patty was here the first one was made for her. We haven't done the other ones yet. Later, I had Breanne print words on the shirt that I wanted on there for Patty.
- Patty has this beautiful painting hanging at her house which she brought to me. It is a depiction of an angel. We believe that angels are family members or other special people on "the other side," yet who are among us, who look out for us and help us along our way. We were discussing whether angels are spirits of those who have gone before, already having lived out their mortality and then gone back to the Spirit World, or if they may also be spirits of those who have not yet come for their turn in mortality here on the Earth. After all, what are we doing there in the spirit world all this time when we're not living our mortality on the Earth? Yes, lots of learning, and interacting with each other, I'm sure. But we like the idea that when we lived in heaven before our mortality, and when we are back in heaven after our mortality, we are able to have some influence helping those we care about who are making their way through mortality. So, this painting represents someone, maybe the viewer, as an angel. We will return the painting when we're done with it.
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