My Bed's "Aura," Therapy Dept Calling Soon, Sometimes Feeling Like a Victim 24/7

Tuesday - I tried a new CBD sleep product last night, but it didn't make a difference. But I only tried half of a gummy. Slept from 12:00-4:00am, Then 5:30-7:00am.

Went to see the surgeon today to check on the lumpy bumps. He says the color has changed. It's a little darker, more purpley than our last visit three weeks ago. I asked him what I should do if the lumps decide to break the skin. He said to make an appointment and they would take care of it in the wound care department. Meaning ointment and gauze. I guess it would then be an open wound until . . . I die? I prefer that the lumps just stay inside and behave until . . . whenever.

In other news, on our way home I noticed where the aura of my bed extends to in our town here. On our way home I could feel the aura of the safety of my bed at the intersection of Holly Street and Industrial Rd. Now I know the radius of my beloved bed's aura reaches about a quarter mile. ;)

I spoke with my palliative doctor this afternoon. I generally feel pretty good about where my meds are. We did talk a little bit about how the steroid is affecting my sleep at night. He says that even though I'm on Gabapentin (for nerve pain) three times a day, the dosage is low, so I can up the evening dosage which could help with sleeping. Before I do that, though, I will try a full CBD gummy for a couple of nights and see how that goes. It would be more expensive but also more natural. So many drugs, but pain management is my number one priority.

Before I hung up with my palliative doctor, I did tell him I wanted to talk to someone in the therapy department. He will have someone call me. If I don't get someone who clicks with me, I should ask for another person until I find someone who has the right vibe for me.

Michael is always right there when I am on the phone with Kaiser. He takes notes when needed, and sends them to me to add to my notes. After the phone call I began crying. Feeling like such a victim. I just lie here on my bed, all day and all night, taking whatever comes my way. What are the bad cells going to do to me today? Nothing I can do about it except try to roll with it the best I can, and make the most of it. Not my ideal life for sure. Little control of anything except for what I watch and eat. Weee.