Laurel's Cancer Journey

Three sisters visiting, hooray! Moderately easy read -   Hello my friends, I know it's been a while. Just not comfy enough for much typing.   Last Sunday our friend Dan Bolton played the harp for us over Zoom. He is a renaissance man and this is something he has recently learned to do. We loved it.   Tuesday and Wednesday were wonderful with the visit of three of my sisters! They came from Washington, Texas, and Southern California. I lasted two hours the first day and three the second. I was surprised that I started crying when they first walked in. I shed a few tears during the visit but there was an abundance of laughter to balance that right out. We have a sisters and hubbies reunion in September, but who can be sure of what might happen between now and then. Another sister visited in April, and the last sister will visit in July after she and her husband return from their mission in New Zealand. I do have one more sister, but she's in heaven so I'

Easy read - Today has been a very comfy day--hooray! Yesterday told me it's almost time to make a decision in the pain department, though. While the long-acting NSAID, CBD cream and occasional lidocaine patches have been working well for my spine and ribs, it's almost time to step it up. My choices are radiation, Gabapentin, or opioids. Radiation to temporarily reduce the bad cells sounds like a hassle going to the hospital 5-10 times, plus a long list of very unappealing side effects. Gabapentin is for nerve pain and I don't really know if mine is nerve pain or not. The doctor could help me figure that out but considering I would have to take it 3 times a day every day, It sounds like my best option is opioids. I can take those as needed. I put them out on the dresser last night in case I needed them during the night. I didn't. I've been blessed with mostly good nights. I'm SO very thankful for that. Photos and story: This heavy glass vase is my cup holder on t

Yellow curry with tofu. SO much better than it looks.   Yesterday I made a confession to my husband. There's a very small part of me that doesn't want to survive this. Why? If I get well, and then later this comes back, or I have to go through something like it again, I don't want to start over from the beginning and experience the whole thing again. I'm partway through now, so the small part of me wants to just finish it and get it over with. We cried together. The rest of me, however, knows that everything will work out just the way it should and, no matter what, ultimately, everyone will have a happy ending. You, me, and everyone else in the world will eventually be so very happy. No pain or sorrow, only joy. It's all going to be okay. Michael knows this, too.   You know how people talk about being stuck in a rut? We loved our rut, our routine. Working and getting things done during the day, then in the evening having dinner while watching something. That was bli

Today I started a long-lasting NSAID (like ibuprofen) called Nabumetone. I have felt pretty good today, minimal discomfort, but a little sleepy. I'll take it! It lasts 12 hours so I'll take it twice a day. This evening, about an hour before it was time for the next one I was getting pretty uncomfy. I waited until the exact minute to take the next one. An hour and a half or two later I was still very uncomfy. I picked up the bottle of new nerve pain Rx, Gabapentin, thinking I might take one of those since it seemed like I was having nerve pain (burning across the back of my shoulders). The directions say to take it 3x per day and don't suddenly stop taking it without checking with your doctor. I guess it's not an as-needed drug. So instead, I had hubby put some CBD/THC cream in the right place and a few minutes later I was improved, yay. I think I'll get a bigger jar of that. I learned that the addition of THC to CBD makes it more effective. A couple of days ago, it

After yesterday's hard update I just wanted to let you know that today has been better.

  SUNDAY was amazingly good. Been going slowly downhill since then. MONDAY was almost as good as Sunday. I branched out a little and put some frozen stir fry veggies in the microwave with a small amount of brown rice. I didn't use the included sauce mostly because of the sugar, I just used a few drops of organic coconut aminos, which is a soy sauce substitute. Couldn't actually taste that. Still, the bowl was a nice change. TUESDAY was almost as good as Monday. Tried curcumin as my first pain reliever of the day. It's not as good as ibuprofen or Tylenol for sure, but I'll try to swap it in once in a while when it's a good day (like today) to go a little easier on my organs. Got an email back from a local, not remote, Reiki gal a friend recommended. This isn't her day job, but she does it on the side to help people, and charges about 1/4 of what she could charge, nice. But we'll have to drive to the far side of Los Altos which will be a 30-40 minute drive. I

  Pillows in all the right places. This new recliner will allow me to spend more time out of bed.   Thursday we met with a naturopathic doctor over Zoom about my liver health. What I came away with was: check certain of my long list of supplements for country of origin, and to avoid those from China or India due to heavy metals in the soil. I was surprised about India. He said there are lots of Indians walking around with heavy metals in their bodies because they use so many spices. I should get back to using a castor oil liver pack daily with a heating pad, but only for 20 minutes, not an hour. You can't detox the body too fast because the liver can't process too much at once. FYI - Castor oil packs are also good for uterine fibroids, non-malignant ovarian cysts, headaches, migraines, constipation, intestinal disorders, gallbladder and liver conditions. I can use curcumin for pain in place of Tylenol. Cool! Sounds risky to try, but I will. We have some that he recommends comin

  My sweet daughter comforting me on a rough day.   Wednesday of last week was rough (photos), but since my daughter helped me work out a schedule of OTC pain relievers, the pain in my spine has been very manageable with ibuprofen and Tylenol since last Thursday. Until last night. Taking 2 tablets every 3 hours went well Thu-Sun, so Monday I stretched it to every 4 hours, worried about my kidneys and liver with so many pain relievers. Yesterday, Tuesday, I lowered the dosage even more by taking only 1 tablet every 4 hours. I was fine until the evening when it either caught up with me or I'm taking a dip. Not crazy about the dips, they're a little scary. And I never come quite back up to where I was pre-dip. I've generally been sleeping well, but not last night. Not due to pain, necessarily, although getting comfy was a little tricky, but just couldn't fall asleep. Slept from 3:00-4:00am, then 6:30-7:30am, then 8:30-9:30am.   Today I'm back to 2 tablets every 3 hours

Me, writing this post to you. My days are spent here, or on the bed. I don't last here as long as bed, comfort wise.     Expecting a third consecutive good day today. This week I have graduated to taking OTC pain relievers all day, every three hours. I wake up in the morning, take two ibuprofens, set a timer for three hours, take two Extra Strength Tylenols and repeat. At bedtime I take my last dose totaling 6 tablets of each kind for the day. My nurse daughter helped me work out the schedule. I still need to be very careful with my movements and be in a resting position most of the time, either sitting back on the couch (I have a lumbar support hubby let me steal from his desk chair), or propped up on my bed. This, interspersed with a couple of sessions with the new, long, gel ice pack which has already paid for itself. Tears were plentiful on Wednesday, but minimal on Thursday and Friday with the new pain reliever schedule. Expecting the same today, Saturday.    I noticed I'v

Facebook memory from four years ago today: “I don't know why we have the many trials that we have, but it is my personal feeling, that the reward is so great, so eternal and everlasting, so joyful and beyond our understanding that in the day of reward, we may feel to say to our merciful, loving Father, ‘Was that all that was required?’” -Linda S. Reeves

I know I worried you yesterday. I was worried, too. Today was better, though. Less discomfort and fewer pain relievers. Just ibuprofen (because I can take it more often), no leap-frogging with Tylenol.   I went to the chiropractor early this morning, hoping the pain of the last three days was chiropractic. I told him it was at the T4 vertebra area. He said he'd been avoiding that area due to my worry. He was going to give it a gentle try today but I yelped when he started, so he stopped and tried something else. It didn't help. But afterward he put a long ice pack over my shoulder for 10 minutes. I liked it so we bought one. It looked like they wrapped it in a pillow case so that's how I wrapped mine later at home. I used my bacon pillow case. It was a bacon-wrapped ice pack. Mmmm. Thinking about asking my pillow case friend to make a custom one for my new ice pack.   The man who cured himself of Stage 4 prostate cancer and his wife actually drove here fr

Didn't know when I'd be able to write again. I'm in the perfect moment of overlapping pain killers right now. My back started really bothering me on Saturday. I started leap-frogging Tylenol and ibuprofen. Since then, Michael has been tracking when I can take the next dosage of something. Also using arnica gel, ice, and Willow Balm patches. I'm glad a few of you recommended to stay ahead of the pain. Had I not tried to, things could be worse. If that's possible. I am in touch with my palliative care doctor about next-level pain management.   Didn't go to church yesterday, so happy there's a Zoom option. At this moment, I honestly can't see myself ever going anywhere again. Hubby is at the grocery store right now without me. We don't like that--we like doing everything together.   While he was gone for a few minutes earlier today I was trying to find a comfy position. Of any kind. I knelt on the floor in front of the couch and rested my head on a litt

Today is better. A little discomfort for the tender "girl" with the enlarged lump. When I lift that arm it feels like I have a tight muscle under my arm, so I stretch it out, not wanting to lose any range of motion. I tried this simple Chigong exercise today which is supposed to clear your energy blockages, whatever that means. There's a lot we Westerners don't know. I'll try it for a few days and see what happens. If nothing else, maybe it will at least help relax the low-grade tension that's always inside me lately. Start at 5:17, if you're interested. I like hearing this guy talk. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiEjdDM77lQ&list=LL   Discomfort at the T4 and first rib crept up on me so slowly today I didn't realize it was happening. With that, I felt my first flash of anger at all of this. Was it anger? Or was it a combination of frustration and hunger and discomfort? I don't know. It felt like anger. I had just a tiny meltdown. Michael remi

Yesterday I had that intensely sharp pain all day in the breast lump. It finally began to taper by evening and is down to 30-40% of its intensity today, thankfully. However, this morning when I woke up, I was alarmed that the lump is significantly larger--in ONE DAY! It seems to have gone from about 3.5" x .5" to 4" x 1". The skin over it is now pinkish instead of the light gray-ish that looked like a slight bruise, and the skin feels hard as it's stretching over the lump. This is what the surgeon told me to watch for--redness and hardness. How could it suddenly expand so much in one day?  A neighbor was telling me miso can help with "bad cells" and give protection from radiation. It might be too late now, three days after my scan, but she brought some homemade stuff over and I had some this morning in my smoothie and tonight in a small glass of water.   Here are two articles she shared, if you're interested: https://draxe.com/nutrition/what-is-mis