Laurel's Cancer Journey

The pain gauge over the last three days has been lowering. Speaking with my palliative pharmacist, letting her know that my current regimen still needed some tweaking, she recommended adding a little more of one med which is specifically for bone pain, in hopes of reducing the dosage of another more general pain reliever which is harder on the body. I only seem to be experiencing one side effect of the bone med, and that is drowsiness. I can live with drowsiness! I know things are constantly changing, but currently feeling hopeful. A 3-day trend is something to get excited about. I slept pretty well on Monday night! This was after taking two of the CBN lozenges. I slept from midnight to 2am, then went quickly back to sleep until 6am! Took my 7am pills early, and snoozed until my 8am pills. Tried that again last night (Tuesday), but not with the same results. There were many wakeful moments, but very short ones. See the graph–the orange peaks are awake times. I was calm and comfortable ...

I'll add more photos later when I'm up to it. As mentioned, my final sister, Patty, came last week to visit from Tuesday to Thursday. She and her husband had just returned from their mission to New Zealand the week before. Of course, I have loved visiting with each of my sisters over the past few months, but I knew this visit would be extra special and impactful for me. I knew we would have deep conversations because that is her personality and because her dear husband died of leukemia five years ago. So, she's had experience in this arena. I also wanted to have these conversations as I revere her wisdom, experience, and deep grasp of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Our daughter picked her up from the San Francisco Airport. Patty walked into my bedroom, she came over and we embraced. We Redd sisters love to hug each other. We have a tall bed. When I’m standing on the floor, it comes up to about my bellybutton. Why is it so high? For space efficiency. This way we can keep a low...

A new addition to the bed: a small rail for steadiness as I climb in and out. I was hoping last night could duplicate the night before when I had a great sleep after using a CBN candy and some other precautions for comfort. While it was not a repeat, it was good enough. It took a couple of hours to get to sleep, (watched an Italian cooking show called Lydia's kitchen, with no sound, captions only), then I probably got about two hours of sleep (midnight-2am?) before I was awake for a couple of hours. My thoughts weren't as bleak as they had been a couple of nights before, and I was able to keep myself physically relaxed enough to not need the next pain reliever. Michael helped by bringing ice, etc. So, I slept from about 4:00-7:00am when my watch woke me up for my first pills of the day. It wasn't a great night, but it wasn't horrible either. I'll take it.

  Not a difficult read. My under arm and breast lumpy bumps are about the size of ping-pong balls, and the skin on them and between them is very purply. This is what I’m going to see the surgeon about on August 1. To see if I should have surgery done to remove those, or if they're past the point of no return, or if it would be more recovery trauma than it’s worth depending on the method they would need to choose, etc. In the meantime, I’m trying to think of how to keep that skin at its healthiest to avoid skin breakage as long as possible. My daughter and I were looking things up online. She had heard that coconut oil is good for things like reducing stretch marks on skin, so we thought that might be one option. I don’t have stretch marks there, but it indicated it could be helpful for skin health. Another option is to put the CBD cream on the skin. It’s the same cream I’ve been having Michael put on painful hotspots on my back. The CBD cream has the added benefit of reducing pain....

  Mostly dull, kind of a yawner: I was a new woman Sunday. After Thursday night’s pain crisis, Friday night I started the new med plan formulated by a palliative doctor. He wanted to add in two new meds and eliminate one of my existing three. I started one of the new meds on Friday night, but I didn't start the second new one until Sunday. This way I would know which medication was the cause of any possible side effects. I didn't notice side effects on either one. Yay. Until Sunday night, that is. The med he wanted to eliminate I eliminated starting Sunday morning, as he recommended, since I should overlap old and new for a day. It was the 7-day patch. I was a little worried about the changeover, and about stopping a current med. We've had to ramp up the dosage on the 7-day patch three weeks in a row, which made it seem like it wasn't really the right thing for me. So Sunday morning the patch came off for the last time. Sunday I felt good enough that I only took one pil...

Breanne and Michael found me a shower chair to use. I'm not really afraid of slipping, but I am afraid of running out of energy, or my wobbly legs giving out. Naturally I have mixed feelings about that, but my wise friend Sherron reminded me that I should do whatever it takes to keep myself safe. Also, I don't take a shower by myself anymore. I use the chair and either my husband or daughter helps me. When they found the shower chair at the free medical equipment lending place they also found me a walker. I wanted them to look for one in case I needed one soon. Turns out I actually needed it immediately just for getting around the apartment. I even use it to get around in the bathroom. Toilet to sink, sink to towel, etc. Oy. The original walker they came home with was the more common style with four wheels. But that didn't work perfectly in our apartment. They went back and found a three-wheeled style that has one wheel in the front and two wheels in the back, like a tricyc...

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1993/10/the-great-plan-of-happiness?lang=eng A slightly harsh-sounding reality check. I need to let you know where I am socially and what to pray for. A few comments from different directions recently have let me know that I need to clarify where I am. I cannot go out anywhere socially, I can barely make it to the doctor's appointments. Any outing is traumatic. I do not want people visiting or calling. The only visitors I want are my sisters and my own children, possibly my son-in-law. And that's it. My last sister is coming to visit me this week, and then I don't want any more visitors. I can't do it. I am simply not up to it physically or emotionally. If I am still around in September I may or may not see my brothers-in-law at our sister's reunion here in San Carlos. But I don't know yet how I'll be feeling or if I'll even be here. It's a long time from now. If you would like to send me s...

  Thanks for all the suggestions about something new to binge-watch. When Michael and I are watching together we watch The Rookie, starring Nathan Fillion who we loved in Castle and Firefly. In fact, most of the stars from Castle have been guest stars on The Rookie--fun. But sometimes it can be intense as police shows are, and I'm a little extra delicate these days, so we only watch The Rookie during daylight hours. After dark we watch Gilmore Girls. We've also watched a few episodes of Murdoch Mysteries and Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Watching a lot of Burn Notice, too. We watched the whole BN series during the pandemic. Forgot how much we liked it! Does it sound like all I do is watch TV? That IS all I do. I'm not a very productive citizen right now but that's life at the moment. Friday I surprised myself as I became teary putting my monitor, keyboard and mouse away from kitchen table where I spent many hours on my laptop. I sat there every day for a year and a half d...

WHAT THE HECK?!!   As you know, my liver numbers (AST and ALT) have been way off the charts high (bad). I cut my Fenbendazole to 1/8 of what I was taking and had my blood drawn again two weeks ago. I thought my numbers would have been at least a little lower, or maybe stayed the same. They still went up significantly as mentioned in my June 20 post. There were many tears of fear and frustration upon getting those results. The next thing we did was stop Fenben altogether, stop all supplements except those that are specifically for liver health in case processing all those supplements is making too much work for Mr. Liver, and restart the castor oil liver packs for 20 minutes daily. I went back yesterday for another blood draw. We both expected further disappointment. We could NOT believe our eyes this morning as we looked at the results. My numbers somehow plummeted much closer to the normal range (the green area is the normal range). Couldn't believe it. Could not be...

Three sisters visiting, hooray! Moderately easy read -   Hello my friends, I know it's been a while. Just not comfy enough for much typing.   Last Sunday our friend Dan Bolton played the harp for us over Zoom. He is a renaissance man and this is something he has recently learned to do. We loved it.   Tuesday and Wednesday were wonderful with the visit of three of my sisters! They came from Washington, Texas, and Southern California. I lasted two hours the first day and three the second. I was surprised that I started crying when they first walked in. I shed a few tears during the visit but there was an abundance of laughter to balance that right out. We have a sisters and hubbies reunion in September, but who can be sure of what might happen between now and then. Another sister visited in April, and the last sister will visit in July after she and her husband return from their mission in New Zealand. I do have one more sister, but she's in heaven so...

Easy read - Today has been a very comfy day--hooray! Yesterday told me it's almost time to make a decision in the pain department, though. While the long-acting NSAID, CBD cream and occasional lidocaine patches have been working well for my spine and ribs, it's almost time to step it up. My choices are radiation, Gabapentin, or opioids. Radiation to temporarily reduce the bad cells sounds like a hassle going to the hospital 5-10 times, plus a long list of very unappealing side effects. Gabapentin is for nerve pain and I don't really know if mine is nerve pain or not. The doctor could help me figure that out but considering I would have to take it 3 times a day every day, It sounds like my best option is opioids. I can take those as needed. I put them out on the dresser last night in case I needed them during the night. I didn't. I've been blessed with mostly good nights. I'm SO very thankful for that. Photos and story: This heavy glass vase is my cup holder on t...

Yellow curry with tofu. SO much better than it looks.   Yesterday I made a confession to my husband. There's a very small part of me that doesn't want to survive this. Why? If I get well, and then later this comes back, or I have to go through something like it again, I don't want to start over from the beginning and experience the whole thing again. I'm partway through now, so the small part of me wants to just finish it and get it over with. We cried together. The rest of me, however, knows that everything will work out just the way it should and, no matter what, ultimately, everyone will have a happy ending. You, me, and everyone else in the world will eventually be so very happy. No pain or sorrow, only joy. It's all going to be okay. Michael knows this, too.   You know how people talk about being stuck in a rut? We loved our rut, our routine. Working and getting things done during the day, then in the evening having dinner while watching something. That was bli...

Today I started a long-lasting NSAID (like ibuprofen) called Nabumetone. I have felt pretty good today, minimal discomfort, but a little sleepy. I'll take it! It lasts 12 hours so I'll take it twice a day. This evening, about an hour before it was time for the next one I was getting pretty uncomfy. I waited until the exact minute to take the next one. An hour and a half or two later I was still very uncomfy. I picked up the bottle of new nerve pain Rx, Gabapentin, thinking I might take one of those since it seemed like I was having nerve pain (burning across the back of my shoulders). The directions say to take it 3x per day and don't suddenly stop taking it without checking with your doctor. I guess it's not an as-needed drug. So instead, I had hubby put some CBD/THC cream in the right place and a few minutes later I was improved, yay. I think I'll get a bigger jar of that. I learned that the addition of THC to CBD makes it more effective. A couple of days ago, it ...

After yesterday's hard update I just wanted to let you know that today has been better.

  SUNDAY was amazingly good. Been going slowly downhill since then. MONDAY was almost as good as Sunday. I branched out a little and put some frozen stir fry veggies in the microwave with a small amount of brown rice. I didn't use the included sauce mostly because of the sugar, I just used a few drops of organic coconut aminos, which is a soy sauce substitute. Couldn't actually taste that. Still, the bowl was a nice change. TUESDAY was almost as good as Monday. Tried curcumin as my first pain reliever of the day. It's not as good as ibuprofen or Tylenol for sure, but I'll try to swap it in once in a while when it's a good day (like today) to go a little easier on my organs. Got an email back from a local, not remote, Reiki gal a friend recommended. This isn't her day job, but she does it on the side to help people, and charges about 1/4 of what she could charge, nice. But we'll have to drive to the far side of Los Altos which will be a 30-40 minute drive. I ...

  Pillows in all the right places. This new recliner will allow me to spend more time out of bed.   Thursday we met with a naturopathic doctor over Zoom about my liver health. What I came away with was: check certain of my long list of supplements for country of origin, and to avoid those from China or India due to heavy metals in the soil. I was surprised about India. He said there are lots of Indians walking around with heavy metals in their bodies because they use so many spices. I should get back to using a castor oil liver pack daily with a heating pad, but only for 20 minutes, not an hour. You can't detox the body too fast because the liver can't process too much at once. FYI - Castor oil packs are also good for uterine fibroids, non-malignant ovarian cysts, headaches, migraines, constipation, intestinal disorders, gallbladder and liver conditions. I can use curcumin for pain in place of Tylenol. Cool! Sounds risky to try, but I will. We have some that he recommends comi...