Laurel's Cancer Journey

  Today I had a video appointment with a social worker outlining what is available to me from my Palliative Care Team. This is nothing to be alarmed about. Palliative care does not necessarily mean end of life like hospice does.   -Hospice is comfort care without curative intent; the patient no longer has curative options or has chosen not to pursue treatment because the side effects outweigh the benefits.   -Palliative care is comfort care with or without curative intent. In other words, palliative care is symptom management.   We talked about a two forms that everyone should have:   1) ADVANCE DIRECTIVE is a comprehensive document that covers a wide range of healthcare decisions. Your doctor should have a copy.   2) A POLST form is focused on end-of-life decisions that require immediate medical attention. For instance, it may specify whether you want to receive CPR, antibiotics, or be put on a ventilator. I think people keep this on the side of their frid...

It's been a few days, eh? I've been very busy. Busy crying. Why? No idea. It started Sunday night and continued on and off through Wednesday morning.    SUNDAY I did better at church this week. I sang some of each of the three hymns. Even though I mostly rested my head either on Michael or on the back of the pew in front of us with a little pillow, I also sat up a few times like a regular person. I brought the new cane-chair. Never needed to open it to sit on, but it was nice for a little extra steadiness while walking. Both hours of church were excellent. Later, a friend brought over the veggies I had brought to her at church. She had them all cleaned and cut, ready for juicing.    Sunday night at bedtime I began to feel emotional and started crying with doubt and wondering if I'm doing enough for my health. Michael was reassuring.   MONDAY Monday morning I still felt emotional on our morning walk, so when we got home I told Michael I was going to have a little...

Copied from a Chris Beat Cancer Facebook post   In the Bible, the flood lasted 40 days and 40 nights. Day 41 came and the rain stopped. Moses committed murder and hid in the desert for 40 years. Year 41 came, and God called him to lead Israel out of Egypt.   Moses went up on the mountain for 40 days. On day 41, he received the Ten Commandments.   The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. In Year 41, they walked into the Promised Land.   Goliath taunted Israel for 40 days. Day 41 came and David slew him.   Jonah preached a message of repentance to Ninevah for 40 days. On day 41, God stopped His plan to destroy them.   Jesus fasted and was tempted for 40 days. On Day 41 the devil fled.   After His resurrection, Jesus appeared to His disciples for 40 days. On day 41 He ascended into Heaven.   All this to say . . . don’t quit. The rain will stop, the giant will fall, and you will enter your “promised land.”   Don’t give up at 40. 4...

  Waking up this morning, upper back bothering me: "Did I play rugby yesterday? Oh, that's right, I opened an uncooperative jar of sauerkraut."   Feeling pretty athletic, though. Yesterday I took the sheets off the bed for hubby to wash. That's right, my people. Also, on our two half-mile walks, heavy breathing was kept to a minimum. Realizing that I'm sick of my legs feeling weak with all this lying around, I did some squats. My form wasn't great and I only did four, but it's a start. Then I overexerted something in my upper back while trying to open a new jar of sauerkraut for our salads, before resorting to one of my tricks (breaking the seal with the tip of a spoon), and again later when trying to pull the quilt up further when helping to make the bed. We athletes get injured sometimes.   My spine was still bothering me to the same degree when I woke up this morning. Getting up and around didn't help, so I climbed back into bed with a heating pad a...

  Someone sent me this. Although it was very thoughtful, the Giver was really paying attention, I had..."feelings" about it. Until we brought it to the grocery store today and I fell in love with it. It saved me in the produce department and again at the check out while Michael was doing all the work. Glad I have it now. I know the Giver will be happy when I don't need it anymore.

  7.5 years ago I started a food log. The first column was for my weight. Then three columns for meals, and three columns for snacks, of course! I found myself adding columns over time: bullet points of what I did that day, what I read, what we watched, did I reach out to anyone, exercise, bed time, how I slept, etc. Apparently I'm a documenter.   Today it's been one month since I've been treating myself with food, supplements, exercise, and fasting (and your prayers!)--February 21-March 21. I've had to add a LOT more columns, especially for supplements. It was a full-time job keeping track of everything, but I'm in a groove now.   You can tell on the weight chart where I got "the phone call" as my weight started to drop. First worrying about what to eat, then starting the intensely nutritional diet which happens to be low calorie. You can also notice where the 3-day fast ended as the weight bottomed out then bounced up 3 lbs.   I'm feeling good. My up...

Well. Facebook Memories brought me this timely quote by Brigham Young. I Googled it to see the context and know more about it. So, here's a little more, quoted from Discourses of Brigham Young pages 345-347. This helps me personally, but also helps me feel more encouraged about those I know who have suffered so much and for so long.   "Now if you possess the light of the Holy Spirit, you can see clearly that trials in the flesh are actually necessary.   "We are now in a day of trial to prove ourselves worthy or unworthy of the life which is to come. "… Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.   "If the Saints could realize things as they are when they are called to pass through trials, and to suffer what they call sacrifices, they would acknowledge them to be the greatest blessings that could be bestowed upon them. But put them in possession of true principles and true enjoyments, without the opposite, and they could no...

Some of you just learned on yesterday's post of the 3-sister black and white photo that I come from a family of seven daughters. No sons. My Dad used to say he had "all roses and no thorns." But, as each of us daughters eventually had sons we realized what a special thing Mom and Dad missed out on.   Here is a primer I made for someone who was trying to learn our names. The photo is from 2017. We lost both Mom (necrotic pancreas) and Karen (complications of MS) in 2018. We're not losing anyone this year. You can count on that. The love and support of these wonderful women mean more than I can say.

Yesterday I spoke with an interesting gal on the phone, Amy. I haven't been interested in talking with anyone who beat breast cancer unless they had my type, triple-negative, because it is so different than the other types, including the fact that there are no drugs for it. Amy didn't have triple-negative but the doctors told her to go home, she was "done." I decided to see what she had to say. She talked about conventional medicine and that the way they had treated her cancer only made things worse in other ways, and it couldn't actually cure her. She began researching and trying other things. Some things sound a little crazy at first. For example, one of the supplements I'm already taking is Venus Fly Trap (in capsule form). I know, right?! There is a LOT out there that your regular doctor either doesn't know about, or won't share with you as they have their own protocols. One of the "crazy" items we keep reading about is drugs used for de-...

I was just looking through today's Facebook memories and saw this oldie but goodie from around 1965. I'm the baby in the pic, the other two are: - Patty Redd Kennington-Rooks who is currently in New Zealand serving a mission with her husband, Dewane , and researching every supplement known to man to see if they might help me, and most of them have shown up on my doorstep. -Sarah Redd Pimentel who is the sister who visited with her husband and daughter a few days ago. Coincidentally, she is also serving a BYU-Pathway mission with her husband, Ron. A lot has happened in our beautiful lives since this photo was taken. I love them, and my four other sisters, so doggone much. If I had a thought bubble here, it would say dreamily, "I want to be just like them when I grow up."

Last night, our daughter came over for a little while. She washed all those veggies I cut up, hooray!, then hubby juiced them all and poured it into bottles. I'm almost ready to start farming out the cutting/washing job to some of you. Then we snuggled on the couch for a while and laughed our heads off over the littlest things.    Today, Sunday, I finally put makeup on. I'm like, "How do you do this again?" Analyzing it, I think the real reason I'm putting it on for church has nothing to do with vanity. It is because I feel like I will appear less pitiful and heartbreaking. I love my ward peeps, and I know they love me, so I don't want to make it more difficult for them to see me. I brought my walking sticks to church and wore lower heels than usual. If anyone were to ask about the sticks I was going to say I was training to do Half Dome at Yosemite. Nobody asked.   I brought a small pillow to church and barely made it through the first hour (sacrament meeting...

I had a really good night. Second night of the melatonin. That plus two, flat, half-mile walks yesterday seemed to help my sleep. I used walking sticks for one of yesterday's walks, which I liked. (I also liked remembering they were my mother's walking sticks.) But for the second walk, after dark, I'd rather hold Michael's arm. Still feeling good this morning, like last evening. After a smoothie of our usual homemade veggie juice, plus protein powder, blackberries, a whole lemon, banana, green apple, turmeric and black pepper (better than it sounds), I got up to cut the veggies for today's juicing. I got through the cutting better than in the recent past. Usually, it makes my upper spine burn/ache during and after doing things with my hands forward, away from my body. But it was fine this time. When I was done cutting, though, I headed to the couch. I'll wash the veggies later for Michael to juice them.   -Me: Announcing to the air on my way to the couch, "...

 Hahaha, yep!

Last night was my first night of taking melatonin ever. 10 mg per my complementary health oncologist, as it is being discovered that high doses of melatonin can slow or stop "C." I assumed I would have a great night. I didn't. That was surprising, but taking the melatonin out of the equation, I already don't sleep well if I don't get some exercise each day, even a little. And I didn't exercise much at all for three days during our extended fast.    Today I woke up (hours too early), and had very low energy and was weak again, like yesterday (chiropractor/water works day). But not light-headed. Thankfully, that was gone. I was back sitting on the stool in the shower this morning. It got me thinking about borrowing a shower chair from the Medical Equipment Loan Program that is on the next block over. They loan out used medical equipment for free, and you return it whenever you're done. Then it hit us both. There were two purposes for the extended fast: to st...

I didn't think I was going to have anything to share today. Boy, was I wrong.    I WAS A SOBBING 90-YEAR-OLD TODAY.   First a short post-fast update: I broke my 74-hour fast two nights ago (the goal was 84 hours, 3.5 days). Yesterday, weak and unsteady. Today the same until this evening. I seem to feel better this evening, but couldn't stand too long making my next giant salad--I made it in two sessions with couch time in between. Still, an improvement. Good. Michael fasted for 96 hours. Over-achiever.   Michael had emailed our chiropractor a few days ago telling him of my sitch and asked what he thought. My doctor had said I shouldn't go to the chiro anymore now that I know I have osteoporosis. The chiropractor felt he could help me and encouraged us to come. We went today. I was still weak and unsteady as mentioned above. I held on to Michael walking anywhere, he helped me in and out of the car, etc. Besides the fact that he drives me everywhere, he wanted to be th...