Back is Bothering Me More, Quadrupled the Fenben in Four Days (Desperate Times, and all)

Yesterday I got through the first hour of church okay. Did more singing, but the sitting was not great. I could have forced myself to sit through the second hour in Relief Society, or even lie down on a row of chairs, but decided to be comfier, so we listened on Zoom on our way home and at home. Thank you, technology--I didn't have to miss out on Danette Soelberg's lesson or the wonderful comments in class.

My back is bothering me a little more. It's been very gradual. Last evening I may have overdone some exertion, and afterward my upper back bothered me a LOT. It was the first time I said the words, "my back hurts," instead of it aches or is fatigued. I laid down for a long time to rest it, then had trouble getting comfy to get to sleep. 

 

Before bed we did the nightly lump palpation. Each of us said, "Whoa." It was noticeably larger, no question. We haven't experienced that before. Before this we'd say, "Wellll, it might be a little larger, I'm not sure," and keep feeling for the dimensions.

 

As we both were trying to fall asleep Michael said, "We're going to be okay." I immediately started crying. I had just about made it through the day without tears. Then I noticed, oh hey, it's after midnight--I did it!

This morning my back is better than last night, but I may be at a new level of discomfort now.

 

On Wednesday I have a phone appointment with my doctor. I assume it's a follow-up to the ultrasound. She'll probably say something useless and the presentation won't be gentle, but since I'm expecting it I can deal with it. The call will give me a chance to request monthly liver checks for the higher doses of Fenben. I took 888 mg today, which is a quadrupling of my original dosage in four days. I don't think you're supposed to jump that high that fast (see below), but desperate times call for desperate measures, and all that.

 

"If your liver is fine and you are not experiencing overwhelmingly uncomfortable die-off symptoms, then we recommend that you start increasing your Fenben dosage incrementally every week. There are not many side effects of fenbendazole, but one can experience die-off symptoms or a “Herxheimer reaction” as the body struggles to rid itself of toxins. The Herxheimer reaction is a short-term (from days to a few weeks) detoxification reaction in the body. As the body detoxifies, it is not uncommon to experience flu-like symptoms including headache, joint and muscle pain, body aches, sore throat, general malaise, sweating, chills, nausea, or other symptoms. This is a normal and even healthy reaction that indicates that pathogens are effectively being killed off."

 

I had mild chills last night for a few minutes. Could that have been a die-off symptom? I choose to believe it is. And I welcome die-off symptoms!

 

So, I'm doing all I can here in the "waiting room," you know? Sometimes I force myself to smile to send my body the message that everything is fine. (I admit that when I do it, my outlook softens a smidge.) It feels stupid to do it and who knows if it helps, but there it is.